Eateries of all Genera Straight Talkin’ No Punches Pulled Reviews

Where does one find the Best Pub Lunch in the Southern Suburbs of Cape Town?


Rascal’s in KenilworthWhat can be said about this neighbourhood joint? Well, er, lots. Picture the scene, Saturday around midday and the Klutz has this fixation to find some more pub grub to checkout, specially a good pot pie, so he heads to a place he’s seen but never visited before, this after careful and painstakingly thorough Interweb research, heads off to Rascal’s in Kenilworth. After finding parking heads into the venue past full tables on the porch, but relatively unfilled interior. One knows that it’s a sports pub, what with all the soccer mostly Man U memorabilia aborning the walls. I thought it prudent to keep my allegiances to myself. After wondering around like a loose football in search of a boot, and no interest shown by the wait staff I realized I’d left my cell in the car so headed out to retrieve it. On returning, again no interest shown by the staff, with peoples names and numbers on bits of paper on the tables I thought were bookings I pulled a waiter aside to ask where I should sit, she said anywhere which I duly did. I was brought the menu and I ordered a “pint”. The beer arrived and she disappeared. I took the first sip and was disappointed, cool beer, not chilled as I was expecting. I started going through the menu and was excited by the choices, which soon turned to disappointment, no pub lunches on the menu. After sitting for almost and hour, menu open by now very warm beer almost finished and no assistance from any of the wait staff although they were bustling past me far to many times to count, I managed to get the attention of a waiter and complain about the warm beer and asked a cold one and asked about the pub lunches, finally I was brought a pub menu and asked for the manager to join me. When he did I started tearing him another one, and after the requisite excuses and stories and the offer of another beer, which I declined after all I was there to review the joint.

I knew what I wanted; I was there for traditional pub lunch faire, the Pie that on being told was homemade and was the clincher. I was actually told the pie dough was made on the premises and the filling made by an outside contractor, huh! Really, homemade? Because they had a pizza oven I decided to get a garlic pizza to start off with, which when it arrived came with some curry sauce, chopped garlic and a chilli oil on the side. The pizza bread was nice and thin with a really nice crunch to it on the first bite, the curry sauce was dead on great and the chilli was killer hot, all in all a great start to the lunch. The beer by this time was on its way to be chilled as it should, so was better than the first and I started enjoying as I waited for the pie and chips to arrive.

When it finally got to my table I was horrified to see the plate with a soggy pie covered with and floating on a sea of gravy, very unappetising it looked. On first bite the sensation of chewing into a wet tea towel came to mind and the taste was awful. Firstly the gravy was out of a packet and the pie filling was a congealed tasteless mess. The meat was like chewing old boot leather, by now I’m not a happy chappy at all. That ended the visit to the pub pretty darn quick, and left a very bad taste on the taste buds.

Rascals is not recommended by the Klutz in the Kitchen at all at this juncture, and receives ★★ = Better than bad, still not good enough, waste of time and money. Visit at ones own peril, however we will not write the place off as yet, we will visit again in a few months to see if any changes have been made and will again review the venue.

The Klutz in the Kitchen pays for all food and drink consumed when reviewing venues, visits are unannounced and not booked.

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